Twice Lost and Found Again
by Jenn2
Summary: Michael and Isabel friendship piece...Michael thinks about destiny and the past, and Isabel's loneliness


Title: Twice Lost and Found Again  
Author: Jenn  
email: got2fly2u@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG  
cat: Michael and Isabel friendship  
Summary: Michael thinks about Isabels well being and how he has lost her...  
  
  
Seeing her standing alone makes me think of destiny. Seeing her so close to us, but so far away in her mind makes me ache for feelings I could never possess. I love her, just not how she needs to be loved, not how I used to love her.   
  
I remember the first time I saw her. She was alone then too, and she had the same look in her eyes, the same hollow haunting sadness, that spoke so clearly to me. I knew too much about sadness, too much about heartache, and I knew she knew the same. Looking at her was like looking at myself in the mirror and seeing the wrong reflection.   
  
I watched her for days, finally feeling a connection to something, something other than desert and sky. It was like I knew her, but I didn't. I had forgotten everything, everything but the soul behind her eyes. I thought she was my mother, my sister, or maybe just another alien.  
  
We never spoke to each other, not with words. I was too scared, people scared me. But she wasn't a person, she was more like a bird or some pretty fluffy thing girls liked. She was skittish like a rabbit, and happy like a bird on the outside, but she sang a sad song. And that song played through my dreams each night, trying to teach me something. I could feel it trying to pull something from me, but it was searching to no avail. The memories were gone; I could feel the empty space.   
  
And then I met Max. He told me who he was, who I was. But neither of us really knew anything. Isabel didn't either. And I remember her crying, I remember her soft sobs as she tried to explain how it felt to have no identity, to have no home. But she didn't need to explain. I knew, and that comforted her.   
  
Max didn't understand though. He tried to become human, he tried to become friends with them. And I hated him for that. Other kids had nightmares about scary green creatures with big teeth, I had nightmares about people.   
  
So I didn't sleep. Late at night I would sneak out of the trailer, when the stars were bright in the sky and all the world was dead, I would creep past a sleeping Hank and escape to the desert. Sometimes Izzy would come with me and we would try to reconnect, try to find our roots, our true home.   
  
But all we found was each other. In her I found family, a sister. I always thought I should have been sent to the Evans's with her, but I was too scared to take her hand. I remembered that much, her small hand reaching for mine in the desert, and I ran away.  
  
We used to stand by the rocks, feeling the warmth radiating from their cores. We just stood there, and forgot. In the desert I didn't have to have a home, nothing in the desert had a home. And with her I didn't have to talk, I didn't have to explain things, I just had to be.   
  
I used to hold her in my arms and stroke her hair, and she would cry. She never seemed to stop crying when she was with me. I thought maybe there was something wrong with who I was, but I realized later that there was something wrong with everyone else. She never cried for anyone, no one but me.   
  
And I liked babying her, I liked caring for someone. She gave me purpose. But as we grew up she stopped coming to the desert. She stopped being my friend. She stopped crying. Isabel had made peace with the humans, she had left me for them   
  
Her abandonment was the deepest and bloodiest wound my heart ever endured. I couldn't stand watching her laughing, talking, enjoying herself with the monsters who still hungered after me in my dreams. There was never a fight, never a real termination to our friendship…and in my heart I never believed it ended. We were still connected by our planet, still connected by a childhood spent in the desert.  
  
Then we found out about destiny, about who were really were. But Isabel had removed herself from me and everything to do with our true identities. She had found her home, her roots. And I had found mine, in a monster named Maria.  
  
And now we were standing in the desert again, Max, Isabel and three monsters, who weren't monsters at all. And it was then I thought about destiny, seeing her suffer, left alone by the only human she had ever let know her. And I wanted to make her know that she wouldn't ever be alone. But destiny wasn't what she needed, a planet wasn't the answer either. The answer was love, and I couldn't find enough in my heart to ever fulfill the needs of Isabel Evans, never. All I could give her was a smile, and a hug, and a promise to be there when she needed me.  
  



End file.
